Thursday, December 31, 2009

Decade round up

Jr in college... oh the years of college, stress free.

Student teaching
Got a job
Fell in love with hubby
Moved in with hubby
9-11 and antrax scare-- for a small moment in time I thought the terrorists were after me and only me. And I couldn't figure out why, I'm such a nice person. BTW this was also before the word terrorist was so popular in our vocabulary
Got engaged to hubby (obiviously this was before he was my hubby)

First grown up vacation. Bahamas for spring break.
Worked at summer day camp... I marched three year old through the woods in 100 degree weather. That was the last summer I worked and it scared me steril for a while.

Got subwoofer -- our dog. Our cat was NOT happy about it.
Got married
Went on honeymoon
Bought a house
Moved into house
Bought stuff for the house.

Painted one room in the house... did such a bad job I never had to paint again. (insert evil laughter here)
Started writing again.
Started masters program
Fell in love with the West Wing
Went San Deigo Comic Con--- it was geek paradise

Continued with Master's Program
Went on a cruise with Hubby's family

Still working on that masters.
Started writing first novel

Finished masters program
Got pregnant
Went to Hawaii
Went on a cruise
First novel a complete flop, epic fail. Went back to relaunch the whole thing
Went to Las Vegas
Wrote wrote wrote
Hated every second of pregnancy

Gave birth a month early and one weekend away from finishing first draft of No System At All.
Home on materity leave, what would have taken 1 weekend pre baby took six weeks post baby.
Adapting to mommyhood.
Went back to work.
Stayed home over the summer, tried to figure fun things for kid to do.
Went to Willamsburg, VA. <-- big difference between vacations pre baby and post
Started writing New York Karma (completely different novel-- as it turns out I get SUPER cranky if I'm not writing or revising)
Kid's christaining

Joined facebook
Finished writing New York Karma Continue drafting No system at all.
House is finally painted--- expect for the basement
Took a writers class
Went to writers convention--- a shameful horrible day. Sigh
Joined a writers group
Went to Florida and South Carolina for summer vacation
Became a nerdfighter.
Flew to Boston to meet my friends and to see my favorite band-- I met them, they are all in love with me-- the band, not my friends that would just be weird.
Started up this blog
Saw pretty much every episode of Dora the explorer and Diego.
Started up Be Nice to a Stranger

As decades go, it was a pretty good one. Lots of life changing stuff.

Let's see what next decade brings.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Dear Michael Bay

Dear Mr Bay,

I'm going to ask you to stop.

Just stop.

I can not take it any more.

Transformers 2 was horrible. Did you ever watch the TV show as kid? Yes, it was created for the soul purpose to make toys but it was wonderful in its 80's cheesiness and morality.

Transformers 2 was written for 13 year old boys. Every scene does not need either, an explosion, a masturbation joke or Megan Fox. Some scenes had all three.

And about the Transformers... yeah OK, just because the CGI can do it, doesn't mean it should be done. There was so much metal and crap on the screen, my eyes could not focus. Worst of all, every Transformer looked the same. When there was a fight I couldn't tell who was a good guy or a bad guy. Should I feel sad when a transformer died? Should I be happy with that sense of vindication of evil being defeated?

Oh and when you have two transformer, one red and one green, why would you have the one red one fight the GIANT red constructcon?

You, sir, are a moron.

Let's not get started on the fact that EVERY human character was EXACTLY the same. 3 character who overly react to situations simply for comedic effects- which wasn't very funny either.

BTW- Gilmore girls spoke fast because they were smart and trying to appeal to a more intelligent audience. Your character speaking fast is just annoying and recreating an unnecessary sense of urgency.

Megan Fox was right, no one goes to your movies for the acting... they go to see you shameless pimp out your old work. (In the dorm room there was poster for Bad Boys)

Dear Ms Fox

I'm going to ask you to stop too. You won't be hot forever. Eventually, you will be old, floppy and shriveled up like the rest of us. Now is the time to make people not hate you. Pointing out the obvious flaws of the movies you are in doesn't win you any fans.
I invested 2 hours of my life into this. Between learning your three lines, shooting and promoting you've lost 4 months of your life. Which one of us is really the bigger jackass?

Thank you for your time.

UGH, are you looking at this? There's so much to LOOK at, I can't SEE any of it.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Epic Fail....

HP- the computer company not the Wizard, created a new computer with a camera built in. It was supposed to follow your head. And it works, if you're white.

Not so much if you're black.

Follow the link to get the low down.
The video is pretty funny.

But can imagine how the HP management is taking this?

Underling: Boss we have a problem.
Boss: What is it?
Underling: I think you need to watch this youtube video.
Boss: We're not allow to stream videos here, how did you get past the firewall?
Underling: Um that's not really important. The thing is our new camera doesn't work on people with dark skin pigment.
Boss: Because I've been trying to update my facebook status all day and I keep getting blocked out.
Underling: Look this is a HUGE problem, this guy's video already got pick up by DVICE and people are Tweeting about it. (BTW All true)
Boss: Christ, you can get twitter too!
Underling: This guy is calling our computer racist.
Boss: what?
Underling: Yes.
Boss: I see. The AI is getting out of control. It's T2 all over again. Not those other terminator movies though, they sucked.
Underling: um, so are you saying out computers ARE racist?
Boss: If I say yes will you show me how to by pass the firewall so I can download porn without my wife seeing.

Underling: I wonder if Apple is hiring.

Friday, December 18, 2009


So there's a snow storm coming through MD. Rumors are anywhere between 6-12 inches. In Maryland, that's like a second ice age. Yes the rest of the country mocks and laughs at us. But we get very excited. The storm is supposed to hit at like 8ish this evening. Which means by noon, no grocery store will have milk, eggs or toilet paper.

Yep. Apparently all you need in an ice age is milk, eggs, and toilet paper.

The school is all a twitter (not the website) over the idea of snow. It's going to be a nightmare to teach today.

My opinion snow over the weekend is such a waste. I was already planning on not leaving my house, now the ice age is going to trap me in.

I will also most likely forget all about the shovel.

The snow shovel comes out in the middle of the first snow storm. Of course either me or my husband (it's my husband) will have to walk down the 90 degree hill we live on to get to the shed to dig through that to get to the shovel. <---that was a pretty amazing run on sentence with zero punctuation there.

Anyway we'll use the shovel a grand total of three times over the winter. And it will stay in its winter home, next to the front door until June. For half the year our only lawn decoration is the shovel we walk past 9 hundred times a day and never put away.

As a teacher, I'm only worried about Monday. Will there be a day off? The Beloved 2 hour delay? Only time, snow plows and the superintendent will tell.

Happy weekend.

Shameless self promotion.

In case you didn't hear, I'm doing this thing, "be nice to strangers month." You can read all about it at my other blog. It's going well. Being nice takes zero effort, being snarky is more fun ;-)

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Not in the christmas spirit

This year, despite doing nice things for strangers, I'm not in the Christmas spirit at all.

I look at all my decorations and think, "crap, I'm just going to have to take this down in a month."

I think a part of it stems from there are no Christmas lights up and down my street this year. And why is there none? Because my next door neighbor has not put up his lights.

There is a long standing, friendly feud with my next door neighbor. He LOVES his front yard and works very hard to make it nice. His first Christmas in his house, his whole front yard was lit up. He had at least 10 different types of decorations. It looked awesome.

My house had one string of rope light around the window, and you could see the rope light connect to the extention cord. It looked pitiful.

My Neighbor ended up shining one of those spotlights with the happy holiday's messages on the side of our house to make out house look all lame.

The next year we stepped it up. We bought a light up polar bear.

They bought a light up train.

The year after that we bought a light up seal, and we up it up next to the polar bear.

They bought these beauiful light up thingys I"ve never seen anywhere else but on his lawn.

Last year we put up the light up wreath (You know what happened to that) the polar bear and the seal. Over the year of storage though, the seal's head broke and didn't light up. So in teh day time it looked fine. But at night, it looked like the polar bear decapited it. Not really the festive mood I was hoping for.

Also last year my neighbor came up to me and said, "I'm going out of town for two weeks, do you mind turning on my lights every day so no one robs my house."
"Sure no problem."

His dectorations look amazing, with a snowman, train, and those pretty colorful light up thingys.

Last year we have two wind storms. The snowman's head fell off. One of the light up thingies vanished. As it turns out they were made out of paper, saran wrap and a see through plastic. They were VERY fragile. <-- this becomes important later.

I went out and fix the snow man, (but he looked worst then my seal) I search for the light up thingy. IT was cold, and windy and I was outside for like ten minutes looking for it. The whole time thinking, "He's going to think I destroyed it on purpose."

Once it was back to a sort of normal state, two days later another WIND STORM hit.

The snowman died.

The light up thingy was under the car.

When I went to pick it up, it started to fall apart in my hands. Like someone trying to hid a dead body, I gathered the pieces and rushed to my basement. There it laid.

My neighbor came home early. "I'm sorry, there was these wind storms." The winter wonderland he created looked like an abnormally large radioactive lizard attacked it.

He smiled, "that's OK."
"I've got your light up thingy in my basement. It doesn't look good." I hung my head in shame.

I went down to get it and it split in half. Wire and plastic started to rain off of it as I carried it up the stairs. I couldn't make eye contact with him as I handed it to him.

Today is December 10, neither of us have our decorations up.

I think we're both in mourning this year.

His yard will not longer look like a magically wonderland for his children.
My yard won't look like a nature documentary gone horribly wrong.

Maybe's it for the best. I don't think an apex predator like the polar bear would have gotten along with the reindeer I wanted to buy.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

My Neighbors Part 1

My Neighbors

I’m pretty certain my neighbors stole the batteries out of our LED light up wreath last year.

Background knowledge:
I think wreaths are stupid. Well, no, I really like them, in the daytime. But at night the look stupid, because everything else is all lit up and the door is not.

I know what you’re thinking, use a spot light:
I live in a townhouse, I use my front door to get out of my house, and I don’t want to put a spot light on my front door. Mostly because I don’t want to get blinded every time I walk my dog.

Anyway, I discovered in Target all my Christmas problems could be solved with this wreath.

It was battery operated = no extension cords.
It had a 12-hour timer= I never had to turn it on
It was pretty= good in the day and at night.
It was awesome= I loved it.

Then something occurred.

My neighbor across the street had the same wreath.
I will be completely honest; I don’t know who got it first. It might have been him, maybe not.

Things that make you go HMMMM

Days leading up to Christmas

My Neighbor’s wreath is looking a little dim.

One night my dog goes bunkers barking and scratching at the door. I heard rattling and scratching outside the door but thought it was animal. Not out of the norm in my neighborhood where apparently the leash law is optional.

A few days later
My wreath is on at 3 pm when I’m coming home from work. The timer was set for 7pm-7am.

Two days before Christmas I find two tiny screws on my step outside my door. I don’t know what they could possibly be used for.
I notice the neighbor’s wreath is looking good.

Christmas morning
Zoey gets a gift that requires C batteries. Hubby says, “I just put C batteries in wreath, I’ll go get them.”

He gets his tiny screwdriver and opens the door. “WHAT THE HELL?” The cover of the battery pack slides off and he said, “These aren’t the batteries I put in.”

He took the batteries out and placed then in ZoĆ«’s toy. The toy last 30 seconds before it dies completely.

My neighbors stole my batteries.

I ask you, what sort of person does that? Why would they do that? What possible thrill or benefit could they get from that?

How much do C batteries go for on the black market?

Under what scenario did they think it was OKAY to enter on my property, with a tiny screwdriver and STEAL the batteries out of my wreath?

I think my act of niceness will be to place two C batteries on their step and say, “This is for you, and your wreath, next time, just ask, you ass hats.”

Shameless pimping

So YA Highway is a Blog I follow. I was follower 99 for the record.

It's a pretty snazzy blog and everyone over there seems very nice.

THere's running a contest and I like contests. The blog wants to get 100 followers and they are giving away books. BOOK! YAY BOOKS!

Go check it out.

Also I have a new blog, in case you haven't heard. Be nice to a stranger. Every day I do something nice and blog about it. So far it's been great. It's had it's up and downs.

Also I will be updated this blog this weekend, it's going to be about my neighbors and holiday decorations. I think that's what the theme will be this week.

Have a great one!