Saturday, December 05, 2009

My Neighbors Part 1

My Neighbors

I’m pretty certain my neighbors stole the batteries out of our LED light up wreath last year.

Background knowledge:
I think wreaths are stupid. Well, no, I really like them, in the daytime. But at night the look stupid, because everything else is all lit up and the door is not.

I know what you’re thinking, use a spot light:
I live in a townhouse, I use my front door to get out of my house, and I don’t want to put a spot light on my front door. Mostly because I don’t want to get blinded every time I walk my dog.

Anyway, I discovered in Target all my Christmas problems could be solved with this wreath.

It was battery operated = no extension cords.
It had a 12-hour timer= I never had to turn it on
It was pretty= good in the day and at night.
It was awesome= I loved it.

Then something occurred.

My neighbor across the street had the same wreath.
I will be completely honest; I don’t know who got it first. It might have been him, maybe not.

Things that make you go HMMMM

Days leading up to Christmas

My Neighbor’s wreath is looking a little dim.

One night my dog goes bunkers barking and scratching at the door. I heard rattling and scratching outside the door but thought it was animal. Not out of the norm in my neighborhood where apparently the leash law is optional.

A few days later
My wreath is on at 3 pm when I’m coming home from work. The timer was set for 7pm-7am.

Two days before Christmas I find two tiny screws on my step outside my door. I don’t know what they could possibly be used for.
I notice the neighbor’s wreath is looking good.

Christmas morning
Zoey gets a gift that requires C batteries. Hubby says, “I just put C batteries in wreath, I’ll go get them.”

He gets his tiny screwdriver and opens the door. “WHAT THE HELL?” The cover of the battery pack slides off and he said, “These aren’t the batteries I put in.”

He took the batteries out and placed then in Zoë’s toy. The toy last 30 seconds before it dies completely.

My neighbors stole my batteries.

I ask you, what sort of person does that? Why would they do that? What possible thrill or benefit could they get from that?

How much do C batteries go for on the black market?

Under what scenario did they think it was OKAY to enter on my property, with a tiny screwdriver and STEAL the batteries out of my wreath?

I think my act of niceness will be to place two C batteries on their step and say, “This is for you, and your wreath, next time, just ask, you ass hats.”


  1. Oh my. That's terrible! As I was reading, I was thinking... just leave a Christmas card on their porch with some batteries this year. If you're not up for feeling nice, maybe leave a nice flaming poo bag on their doorstep :o) haha

  2. No no no. You're thinking like a reasonable person. You've got to ask yourself: what would an unreasonable man do? Well, first, you take your batteries back from their wreath, assuming, of course, that they're still fairly lively. Then you steal their wreath, because honestly, it's tacky for both of you to have the same wreaths on your door (plus, they asked for it, stealing your batteries!) Lastly, but most importantly, you set their wreath on fire and leave it on their porch. Check AND mate!

    P.S.: don't do any of this.

  3. Thank goodness that this is Be Nice a Stranger month for you and not Be Nice to Your Neighbhor month.

  4. Yeah, those guys suck. They also park on the street when they have a 3 car driveway and a garage. UGH.

    Thanks for your moral support guys, some how we'll get through this together.