Thursday, October 29, 2009

bad idea

Blogging when you have nothing of interest to say = bad idea.

Anyone else have a bad idea they would like to share with the class?

Monday, October 26, 2009

good news

So today I want to be as positive as possible, despite the swine flu outbreak in my area.

First off I want to wish EVERYONE who is doing NaNoWritMo good luck. For those of you who don't know November is National Novel Writing Month. People have one month to write a novel, 50k words.
Its something if I didn't have a job, a family or a facebook addiction I might consider. Maybe in my pre Zoey days I might have been able to pull it off, but I don't think its possible any more. Oh no, here I go, getting depressed. STOP.

I have nothing but respect and envy for anyone who is doing this. YAY YOU! I'm talking to you Mo and Alicia.
Oh and Megan who wrote out an ENTIRE BOOK in one day. You guys are rock stars.

So I came across this today in my webtravels.

The year is 1946 and the shattered streets of Hiroshima are eerily silent… Then, turning the corner, an ominous bulk looms into view. Is it a bizarre mutant out for blood? An escaped zoo animal driven mad by radiation poisoning? Nah… it’s just the Kabaya Caramels “Hippo Car”, dispersing sadness by dispensing candy! Imagine being a kid in post-war Hiroshima – an encounter with the Hippo Car just might be the best thing to happen to you all day, perhaps all week. Kabaya still operates Hippo Cars today though they’re sleek, modern and bright red. The Hiroshima Atomic Bomb Dome, on the other hand, looks pretty much the same.

Thank you Weburbanist again for helping me rememeber why humanity is awesome.
I'm pretty sure there's a cute short story in there, so if anyone wants to write it, please feel free.

Also I'd like to thank ANYONE who is reading this blog or following it. I've hit double digits which is awesome.

My question to you, would you rather read Snarky stuff or happy stuff or a blend of both. Please comment below.

Thanks everyone

Friday, October 23, 2009

I was going to rant about my crappy few weeks, but really who cares about that? Instead I want to show you something very cool. Because really, isn't that what the internet should be used for, not whining about crap but showcasing amazingly cool things?

Every day I go to They showcase cool artist doing amazing things.

Today's post is about photo realism, something I've been very interested in for a long time.

All the picture above are paintings done by Eric Zener, Dru Blair, Alyssa Monk,and Juan Francisco Casas (who does all his work with a ball point pen).

Thanks for reminding me how awesome people can be and why we love art so much.

Go check out the website, everyday they have something cool up.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

So above is a word cloud for my novel No System At All - Draft 10. What is a word cloud? Well you upload a whole bunch of text to the website and poof, it takes the most common words and turns it into art. The larger the word, the more common it is.

Can you tell who's the main characters and what the story is about?

This one is for my other book New York Karma- draft 2

It's a cool website, go check it out.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I am lost for words...

Is it a joke?

According to Alt Press.

Get a lock of Pete Wentz's hair with greatest hits album

Tim Karan on 10/13/09 @ 10:39 AM

As a special treat for their fan club, Fall Out Boy have announced a very special package for Overcast Kids who pre-order the upcoming FOB greatest hits album, Believers Never Die. Fans who pre-order through can buy a special edition that includes a lock of bassist Pete Wentz's hair. There are three different packages available through the web site:

Basic edition: $19.99 (plus s&h)
- Physical version of the album
- Rubber Overcast Kids/Thnks fr the Mmrs wristband
-One-year fan club membership/renewal

Deluxe edition: $39.99 (plus s&h)
- Physical version of album
- Rubber Overcast Kids / Thnks fr th Mmrs Wristband
- Limited Edition Poster
- Exclusive Overcast Kids / Thnks fr th Mmrs T-Shirt
- Colored 7-inch vinyl w/FOB tracks
- 1 year fan club membership/renewal in Overcast Kids

Premium Edition: $129.99 (plus s&h)
- Physical version of album
- Rubber Overcast Kids / Thnks fr th Mmrs Wristband
- Limited Edition Poster
- Exclusive Overcast Kids / Thnks fr th Mmrs T-Shirt
- Colored 7-inch Vinyl w/FOB tracks
- "Thnks fr th Mmrs" commemorative plaque
- 1 year fan club membership/renewal in Overcast Kids

The first 10 Diamond/Platinum Overcast Kids members to pre-order the premium edition will receive a lifetime membership to the fan club and the first 400 fans to order this version will receive a lock of Pete Wentz's hair cut by Mark Hoppus of Blink-182.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Tonight's Yahoo! Popular Searches

Apparently only twelve-year-old boys surf the web.

The Room

The Room

There's bad art and there's trash. No one is debating that fact. I've seen plenty of crappy movies, Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus comes to mind, Batman and Robin also rank pretty high up there.

I like crappy movies, I like ripping them apart and shredding it until its a barley unrecognizable form. It makes me feel superior.

Yes, true, none of my writing has been published. I've got nothing I can point to and say, "Hey, I'm artistic success." But my inner geek who feels inferior in most social situations likes to mock those who I feel are beneath me.

Yes, I'm a bitch.

But once in a while, something comes along and it's so bad, its good. But not good. It's sort of like having your mind and eyes raped. You feel violated for watching it, and yet, grateful that you just witnessed the worst thing you will ever see, and everything else in the world can only be an improvement.

I'm talking about The Citizen Kane of bad movies, The Room.

It's should be a red flag when the main character, writer, director, and producer are all the same person. Tommy Wiseau.

Who is Tommy Wiseau? No one knows. Somehow he raised six million dollars to tell his "story". Rumors about him are littered across the Internet. Some say he made his money counterfeiting jeans, which I didn't know was a real thing, I thought The Simpsons made it up.

Anyway the "plot" of the room is, Johnny loves Lisa and they're a month away from their wedding when Lisa realizes she doesn't love Johnny (BTW did you notice how similar the Johnny is to Tommy? Maybe's its just a coincidence). Lisa starts sleeping with Johnny's best friend, Mark. We know that Mark is Johnny's best friend because it's in the dialogue 6 different times. There's a throw away line about the fact that Lisa's mother is dying of cancer. Some creepy teenager who is Johnny's "adopted" son who gets mixed up with drugs, complete with a whole, "Where's my money?" scene with a drug dealer. Most likely a real drug dealer trying to make his big break in Hollywood.

There's three different scenes where the characters play football. One scene they are in tuxedos.
I lost count of how many horrible sex scenes there were. But clearly Tommy Wiseau thinks that candles and rose petals makes everything more romantic and therefore a reflection of the character's true feelings or some crap. Tommy Wiseau make sex boring. Way to go, dude.

By the end everyone betrays Johnny.

Not only is the acting beyond awful, the dialogue sounded like it was written by a 1st grader and camera work done by a blind man, but the music was horrible and it was shot in front of a green screen.

Example of dialogue:
Lisa: Do you want me to order a pizza?
Johnny: Whatever, I don't care.
Lisa: I already ordered a pizza.
Johnny: You think about everything, ha ha ha.

Sometimes when crappy things are made, I wonder, "why didn't someone try to stop it?"

Someone did. The staff quit TWICE during the filming. One actor quit and was replaced by another actor like no one would notice. Everyone noticed.

After the movie there's an interview with Tommy Wiseau. It's more entertaining then the movie itself. Tommy Wiseua really believes it's a good movie, and every scene is in there for a reason, and if you didn't understand it, you need to watch it a second time because YOU didn't get the deep messages the movie was discussing.

There's nothing more insulting then when an artist gets pissed off at the audience because the audience is too stupid to understand the "art".

No, dude, it's not me, it you.

A part of me thinks this whole adventure is wonderful. It beautiful testament to how people hold onto a dream and don't let go.
John Green says, (and I'm paraphrasing) "we create to give a gift to the world and hope that someone will like it."

Sometimes that gift is an ugly wool sweater with sheep and cats on it, covered in shit and piss.

Here's the thing, it's a cult hit! Midnight showing are sold out. Kristen Bell, Patton Oswalt, Paul Rudd and David Cross all love it. So yeah. I guess the joke is on me.

Thank Tommy Wiseua for the ugly sweater, it was a life altering experiance.

Do yourself a favor and read the review of the movie from other fans.

Friday, October 09, 2009


Damage to my car will cost some high school kid $175. Not too bad, I thought they would replace the whole bumper.

Yeah, so I just got back from the dealership.

The tire never punctured the tire, no leak, nothing was wrong. Therefore Sears saying i needed a new tire was a complete lie. Bastards.

My valve needed to be tightened, you can insert your own dirty joke here.

total cost $0.00

Total time spent at least 3 hours.


And how lame is it that I'm going through Jim and Pam's wedding album like they're real people.

Crap week in review.

So I bought a new SUV in June, thinking "I've got a kid now, I guess I need a new car, like every other middle class white woman in my town." After months of research I picked the Hyundai Santa Fe. I thought I was getting lots of car for very little money.

What a piece of crap.
I've had it for three months and it's been in the shop 4 times.

That's not including the three times this week.

I looked down at my front drivers side tire and said, "I've got a nail in it. Crap." * BTW I'm censoring my thoughts, I didn't say crap, I never say crap.

Called around to find a place to pull out the nail and repair the tire. I picked Sears Auto. Spoiler alert: It was a mistake.

At 3:30 I drop my car off and say, "There's a nail in the tire, can you fix it?"
"Sure, you'll be out of here by 4:11"
I plop down in the waiting room and start writing.
At 4:30 they finally lift my car and look at the tire. You can do the math and figure out how long I was waiting.
4:35 a worker comes back, "Um, yeah, we can't fix it, we'll need to replace it."
"How long is that going to take?"
"not long." Apparently time runs differently in Sears then it does everywhere else.
4:45 I hear laughter.
Now I've been there for an hour and 15 minutes. I go out into the service area, but on my best Evil Teacher glare. I stand there for a minute before the workers notice me.
"Can I help you?"
"Yeah, you can fix my car." AWE SNAP! "I've been here over an hour."
"Well, it takes an hour."
"No, it takes an hour after you start, you haven't started yet." Double SNAP.
I storm back to the waiting room.
4:50 Worker comes back, "We don't have the tire."


I'm driving Zoey to daycare and while at a stop sign and I hear a thump and the car jolts forward. "crap." I checked on Zoey to make sure she was OK. Did a body check on myself.
I get out and see a scratch and a dent on my bummer. I throw my arms up in the air and yell, "Oh come on!"
Then I turn around and see the crying High school kid who hit my car.
We exchange info and she's getting more upset with each passing minute. By the end, Mom mode kicks in and I ask her if she wants some biscotti I have in the car. Yeah like that's going to make her feel better.
I spend my morning dealing with that.
I still have a nail in my tire.
3:30 I go to Mr. Tire (I figure TIRE was in the name, if any place should be able to fix it, it's MR TIRE)
4:30 I get a call FROM MY HOUSE. Hubby says, "where are you? Mr. Tire called and said there was a problem with your car." I look around at the waiting room. "But I'm in Mr Tire." Sigh.
I go to the counter, "Hi, you called my house, and said there was a problem with my car."
"Yeah your valve is leaking. You need to take it to the dealer to fix."
I go outside and see the hubcap is missing on the REAR Driver's side tire. "My hubcap is missing."
"No its not, that's the spare."
"Yes but why is the spare tire on."
'because your valve is leaking."
More Silence.
Mr. Tire guy. "Crap."
"Yeah." I say.


My oven blew up.
Fire shot out of the circuit board.
We unplug it and tried it again. It didn't work.
We went to Lowes and bought a new oven.

4:15 Dropping the car off at the dealer so they can work on it on Friday.
5:00 Leave the dealership. YEP 45 minutes to ask for an estimate to fix the bumper, to fix the tire and the valve.


So I'm waiting to hear how much this whole thing is going to cost me.

Crap on a stick.

At least The Office was awesome.

Monday, October 05, 2009


Oh yahoo news, have I told you how much I love you lately? Not for the news you provided, because I could get that anywhere. No, it's your pictures and your captions, your unwitting humor.

Below is the image I saw while drinking my coffee, and while you would be expecting me to spit coffee all over my computer screen from the giggle fit, coffee and my computer screen are far too important to me to waste either.

So what's funny about it, in case explaining is in order, two women and one statue of a man won the noble prize. You could read into it that public image of women is that they aren't smart enough to win the award on their own and there needs to be a male figure in the somewhere, even if the figure is made out of bronze.

But yeah that's reading too much into it.

Ok and there was a man involved, but he wasn't even worthy of a photo shoot, nope, the photographers replaced him with a statue. Can you imagine being that guy, "Yay, you won with Noble Prize, but you have to share it and you won't get any media coverage and some chick won't even mention you by name in her blog."

There's a link to the article itself, which is full of sciencey goodness and a Monte Python reference which makes me love these women even more.

Congrats women of science, you rock. You too, nameless white dude, you too.

Friday, October 02, 2009


Last year a student changed my life. Wow that’s one hell of a hook.

Geeks, Nerds, we have an innate skill to smell our own kind. If I were to say, “man, if I had a sonic screwdriver I’d be able to fix this,” 95% of the people I speak to on a regular basis wouldn’t know what I was talking about. If you understood the reference, then yes, you are a nerd. Welcome, to the dark side we have cookies. (Another nerd/geek joke)

So last year there was a girl who was a nerd, we pegged each other day 2. Later on in the year, she stood up and did a book talk about The Abundance of Katherines. I was going through one of my reading binges, so I picked it up.

HOLY CRAP. In one word AWESOME. It was smart. It was funny. It was realistic. It was EVERYTHING I wish I could write. When I finished it I became a life long fan of John Green.

Then I discovered his vlog.

He and his brother Hank, created a vlog, where they would communicate in only a textless way. No more IM, texting, or e-mails. Only phone calls and video blogs. From a funny little project he set up with his brother, gave birth to a wonderful movement on the Internet.

People who follow the vlog are called Nerdfighters. In the past two years, they’ve created a social network, done countless acts of charity and made an imaginary person, DJ Railstone, real, (seriously Google her.) They embrace all that is nerdy and wonderful in the world with one positive message, “Don’t forget to be Awesome.”

As I began to discover more, I thought, "I’m a nerd, I want to make the world a better place, I won’t forget to get awesome. Finally I found where I belong."

Here’s the thing, as a teacher, I want my kids to be a better person today then they were yesterday. 8th grade is the time when students are trying to figure out who they are, the adult that one day they hope to be. I love my job because I get to be a part of that experience for 150 kids a year. At end of the year, after sprinkling my lessons through out the last 180 days, I sit my kids down gave tell them about the world.. I remind them never to forget that the person sitting next to them, their parents, their siblings and someone living on the other end of the world, have the exact same feelings and emotions you do. And the minute we forget that, we lose a piece of our humanity. I try to fill my kids up with hope and happiness through wacky stories and embarrassing dance numbers.

John and Hank Green has been telling their fans the exact same thing. And they gave it a catchy name. My theme for the year is DBFTA. So thank you John and Hank, my principal thinks I'm nuts, but my students love it.

Mostly this reminds me of how grateful I am to be living in this time period. I’m a huge wuss and never would have made it during the westward expansion, I would have died of dysentery pretty early on. Thank you Oregon Trail.

Back to the point, when I was coming to grasp with my nerdy self, I was a late nerd bloomer, the Internet was in it’s infancy. I remember the shame and lies I would tell my friends when I bought my comic books. I remember being so excited/ devastated when Wolverine had his alloy adamantium skeleton pulled out and needing to tell someone about it, but having no one.

Growing up a nerd was a lonely experience.

So I thank God for the scientist and Al Gore for inventing the Internet, because at least now, there is a generation of kids who know they aren't alone.

More impressive is that the Nerdfighters DO things. They don't passively sit back and watch funny clips. John and Hank inspired people to action, making them feel like they're apart of something. Because they are. Whether it's taking pictures of Margo in different locations, making cakes, singing songs. They are making the world awesome, and fighting against suck.

It's just a reminder, people will do things, if you ask them nicely.

Yeah so this post was way less snarky then I planned, but I have such a warm gooey feeling I had share.

In case you wanted to check out some awesome clips, links are below.