Repost of My Funniest Posts 3

Posted originally 3-17

what it means to be a woman

I watch this you tuber called Charlie is So Cool Like. He's awesome. He's 19 and doesn't understand teenage girls.
Really? I think we're pretty straight forward, women in general- We want you to be smart, caring and able to read our minds. The End.

Anyway he asked a bunch of girls to fill out a survey, the results were funny- but at minute 3 second 7, I cracked up.

I, too have looked at my dryer and wondered if I could get in it. I thought I was the only one who ever had thoughts like that. I'll look at a box or a space and wonder, "can I fit in that?"

I told my 8th grades about the question. I watched the faces of the girls, they smiled, they blushed and they avoided eye contact. It hit me, "YOU TOO! You've thought that too!"
Every girl laughed and nodded.

We talked about looking at a "problem" trying to figure out how you would contort your body in a way to help you fit into the object.

Then I asked, "Did you ever get in it?"
Every girl answered with, "No. Never. That's stupid."

I looked over at the boys.

Half the group said, "The thought has never once crossed my mind."
The other half said, "I got stuck."

There you go. That's the difference between men and women. Women will problem solve and determine if it's a logical thing to do. Men will either not think it's a problem or they will FUBR it up.

Check out the clip below

http://www.youtube.com/user/charlieissocoollike?blend=1&ob=4#p/u/7/5kMWAwCJS_s

minute 3:07.

Repost of My Funniest Posts 2

When it's NOT ok to use your cell phone: 

Posted originally on January 29 2009

I get it. I really do. We live in a society where we HAVE to be in CONSTANT communication with everyone.

However I think we've crossed a line.

Today I was going to use the public restroom. I walk in an mentally groan because someone else was in the other stall. I HATE having to go to the bathroom when someone else is there. In fact in my own house I will walk upstairs to pee if my family is downstairs.

So I go into the stall and start to, you know, do my thing. When I hear the woman next to me say "Oh great" followed by universal sound of urination.

So I assumed that whoever is next to me needed some encouragement to pee.

Then I hear her talking about moving money around and the hushed sound of another voice.

SHE WAS ON THE PHONE.

WHILE I WAS PEEING!

I don't like it when my husband hears me pee, now a stranger on the phone can hear me!

Then it dawns on me that whoever is next to me is talking on the phone while SHE'S PEEING.
So clearly she doesn't have my issues but still...

Now here's my other problem. I'm done. I finish up... now do I flush or wait her out?

Screw it--- I flush, I don't have my time where I can pee, and I've got stuff to do.

Then she flushes too.

I wash my hands.

Turn around and SHE GIVE ME A DIRTY LOOK.

Like I was the one who exposed the fact that SHE was peeing and talking on the phone by my flush.

People there is a line that should NEVER be crossed.

Today that line was crossed and I don't know how or if we can ever go back.

You may file that under TMI.

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Time for  the second installment of guess the craft:

Repost of My Funniest Posts

I decided to repost some of my personally favorite blogs of the past year.  Yep, I'm that lazy for this month. 
This one was written on 11-12-09 

Resume's and Big Breaks 

Ok I get it, you're a struggling actor, you've been on a thousand auditions, you live in LA and you're constantly on the search for your "big break". So you see an ad, or your agent sends you out on a audition for a musical. That's great. You can sing. You can dance, all be it, neither can you do very well. But that won't matter.

Congrats! You get the gig. YAY you. Here's the catch, it's on Nick Jr. The name of the show is call The Fresh Beat Band. It's about 4 people in a band and they sing to small children.

Click on the link to see a clip

Ok. So you're not one of the leads. Nope, you're a background dancer, more then an extra, but not quite worthy of being in the credits.

So here is my question to you, do you write this on your resume? Do you tell your friends? Yes, it's a paying gig. And it's not as shameful as doing porn. But is this the moment when you give up on your dreams of winning an Oscar? Do you ponder if your life took a wrong turn somewhere? Or are you grateful for the chance to do what you love and get a paycheck for it?

We've all had crap jobs, jobs that make you question everything you thought you knew about the world.

I spent two years working in a comic book store, where I met a Zombie, someone I think might have been Kevin Smith and an assassin. And that wasn't even the worst job I've ever had.

The worst was what I called "death camp". I was the camp director for 3-5 years old. I taught them about nature and took them on hikes during the highest summer on record. It sucked ass. That's one of many reasons why I waited until I was in my late twenties to have a kid. That job scared me sterile.

So my friends, tell me, what was your worst job? How much of your dignity did you sacrifice for a dollar?