Wednesday, June 01, 2011

First Page ReviewThe (Absolutely, Positively) True Adventures of a Religious Prophet

 I want to thank Meg for letting me use her AMAZING book on my blog.  Go check out her blog where she posts fun stuff about  her novel.  After you read the first page... READ THIS BLOG. 

First page Review: 
Title:The (Absolutely, Positively) True Adventures of a Religious Prophet

  Word Count:60 K
Genre: Humor 
The (Absolutely, Positively) True Adventures of a Religious Prophet

The hardest part of being a religious prophet, Claire Elizabeth Rogers has found, Not loving this word choice is the constant delivery of bad news cleverly disguised as good news. Years earlier, when God appeared on her doorstep and handed her a pen to sign with, Claire failed to read the fine print of the contract in front of her.[1] If she had, she might have changed her mind about the whole thing right then and there. It was only later, after a particularly awful job, that she realized a prophet’s job closely resembles that of an errand boy, or girl as the case may be. Pitch perfect VOICE.  It's an excellent hook and leaves me wanting more.
She’s a glorified messenger and at the ripe old age of 33, wearing her single status around her neck like a long dead albatross, Not sure how I feel about this image, it's sort of gross even thought that's the intent she now understands why everyone thought Joan of Arc was crazy. Telling someone the world is absolutely positively going to end on the last Sunday in January will not only get you thrown out of the local deli, but banned from the grocery store as well.[2] 
I think the last sentence the stakes could have been raised a little bit, but other than that I think is a SOLID first page and I want more more more...

[1] Not to mention that the fine print of a contract drawn up by God is so fine it takes a microscope created by Archimedes and a whole lot of luck to be able to read the damn thing.

[2] It really wouldn’t be too terrible, all things considered, but now she has to drive to Bangor for groceries and it’s a pain in the ass.


  1. Yay!!!!!! :)

    Seriously, come over and read some more Claire. There are cookies...

  2. Whoa...what an awesome idea for a post! And I agree with your assessment--definitely want to read more. :)