Friday, September 03, 2010

Writing Friends- Where are you?

Where all my writer friends at?

I promised last week I would do a post about where to find writing friends.  Lately this blog hasn't had a lot of writing content on it because I'm been trapped in my real world getting ready for the new school year and sadly, when that happens my writing life gets tossed aside for a while.  Bummer.

But here you go.
Where can I find friends?

Well it's not like your in grade school and you pick your friends based off of the teacher's seating chart or who has the coolest my little ponies... that might have just been me and it explains why I don't have many long standing friendships from my childhood.

When it comes to writing friends you need to be picky.

Why? Because you will be sharing your most intimate thoughts with them.
Can you trust everyone? Nope.
Will everyone give you good feedback?  Nope.

Good writing friends, get you.  They get your humor, they understand your writing, they might not share the same writing process but they understand what you are doing or at least trying to do.

Good writing friends give HONEST feedback, if it doesn't work, they will let you know. 

Good writing friends return the favor.  If you spent 15 hours reading and commenting on their work, they should be doing the same for yours.  Or at the very least, as much time as their life can reasonably dictate.

 So where do you find these people?

The internet is a good place to start.  There's lots of websites that can help you find a critique partner.

Here is where I find one of mine and she's become one of my best friends. is another great place, you can post your work up there and other people will critique it, what's nice about it you have to critique too in order to get your work critiqued.  if you trust someone's feedback you can sent them a private message and strike up a friendship there.

Mary Kole sometimes posts finding a critque partner want ads on her blog.

Blogs are also GREAT.
Blogs tell you a lot of information about a person, whether the blogger realizes it.  Mostly they will write about their genre.  Do they write the same genre as you?  Do you agree with any book reviews they've done?  Do you like their writing style?    Then there's other stuff,  if the blogger is complaining all the time that they've got too much going on in their life, maybe now isn't the best time to say, "Hey, let's be friends.'  Do they maintain their blog, keeping a pretty regular schedule? 
Most bloggers post their e-mail somewhere on their blog.  I don't.  And my contact me, FAQs and other headings are just for show because I don't know how to use HTML.

NOTE:  If you are a teenager, like still in high school.  Tell people be up front about it.  Your insight is VERY valuable don't forget that.  But I pretty much ALWAYS assume whenever I read someone's comments on my blog or e-mail, or even their blog, that they are exactly like me.  Female, in her 30's, a professional, a mom, a wife an a writer.  I've been thrown off a few times by teens.  It's not a bad thing and it's probably my fault for assuming, and I've NEVER EVER disregarded their feedback because they were a teenager.  But if I had known they were a teenager, I would have chosen my language a little differently.   It also could put me at risk to losing my job.  So please, be up front and honest about it.
Thank you

The BEST place is to take a writing class at your local community college.  Lots of times after the class people form a writing group.  This is perfect because everyone lives near you, you can meet on a regular basis and they are people who chances are you wouldn't have met any other way.  Also you get to brush up on your basics about writing and learn a few new tricks. 

So go off and meet new people.  Be safe and be honest.
Writer friends are some of the best friends a writer can have.

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  1. I found my crit partners from my blog and I agree, they are the BEST things to ever happen to me :)) They are honest and encouraging. What more could I ask for? !

  2. Great post-- writer friends make all the difference!

  3. I found my crit buddies through Agent Query Connect - which is a fabulous site! They're gold :)

  4. I found my crit partner on a YALitChat forum. :) There are loads of resources out there. And you're right -- blogs are great for meeting people too.

  5. I found my crit buddy through Crit Partner. Hmm... I wonder who that could be?

    Also, for writing classes, a lot of metro areas have a writing center like Grub Street in Boston.