Thursday, August 19, 2010

Writing Friends

On Writing; Thursdays:

If you are reading this blog, chances are you are a writer.  Yay, very cool.  So you've written something and now you need someone to read it.
You look around you life, the people you love and trust, your family, your friends, your signifcate other and you say, "whadda think?"


Don't do that.  Seriously don't.  If you want them to read it so they can see what you've been ignoring them for, that's fine.  But don't take their feedback as your end all be all.  Why? Because they love you. And they won't be honest. 

There's a much bigger reason:  You like these people and you want to keep them in your life, right?
I've lost a lot of friends and my feelings have been VERY hurt when I gave them my novel.  Why?  Did they give me bad feedback?  Did they tell me it sucked?  nope, they didn't even read.  I heard NOTHING from them.   Which my neurotic brain freaks out over and thinks it must have been SO horrible they can't even talk to me. 

Then I get angry, here are literal thoughts I've had, "what the hell, I have a full time job, I teach, plan, grade, meeting with parents, come home, deal with a two year old, clean, be a wife, find time to watch TV and write three novels, and revise them and what the hell you can't take a few hours to read." 

This is A HORRIBLE way of thinking. 

I need to stop.

So from now on I will try very hard not to have these thoughts and when it comes to writing I will seek out writer friends.

Writer friends sole purpose in my life is to read my writing, give feedback and talk me out of a pity party.  Lots of my writer friends have merged into REAL life friends.  I've flown to Boston to hang out with them, I've celebrated their victories and cried for them.  Some of my best friends started out as writer friends.

One slight warning: 
 I have an issue when the MC of a story is a mirror image of the author.  It makes it almost impossible to crit because when you say, "your MC is very unlikeble in this scene." You've really insulted your friend.  It's a tough line to walk.


  1. Writer friends are great. I don't actually have any through my non-fanfiction writing, but I have some writer friends through fanfiction... xD

  2. I'm a huge fan of writer friends. Huge. Speaking of writer friends, Writer Friend, when would you like NYK back?

  3. GREAT post. Also an avid writer-friend supporter. If for nothing else (although of course, there's always something else) because of the books they share with you.

  4. Writer friends are the best. I've met some really awesome writer friends on the internet and blogs. ;)

  5. This posts pinpoints the whole frustration over alpha readers really well. Writer friends rule, hands down. Even if you never do get to meet them, if you live, like me, in Pakistan. They still rock. (Although sometimes because of the things you say you want to hide under a rock for the rest of your life.)

  6. No one in my 'real' life has seen any of my writing. None of them would really want to read it and I'm not sharing with people who don't really get the blood and sweat that's been poured into it! :)

  7. LOVE this post, writer friend!

  8. writerly buddies rock. and they make me accountable and cheer me on - which i so need. also, the understand the pain and pleasure of writing :)

    love this post