They are socially awkward, sometimes painful and often smelly.
Sometimes they are quick.
Sometimes they linger.
I was at an event recently and I felt the rumble coming. I did my best to keep it dammed up.
I was standing in the kitchen with two other girls.
A few minutes later one girl declared she was leaving. She helped in the clean up process by putting her plate in the sink and left the kitchen.
But she left something behind.
I offered to clean up and walked directly into her fart cloud.
Now I was stuck in a moral dilemma, do I keep cleaning up, standing in this girl toxic gas or do I run out and stop in the clean up process.
Either way the other girl in the kitchen will assume I farted.
There really was no way of getting out of it.
If I denied it, I clearly was the one who supplied it.
If I left, I'd be the one who stank up the kitchen AND didn't help clean up.
So I stood in the fart cloud, cleaning up and avoiding eye contact with the other girl.
Tell me readers, what would you do?
Dear readers, I am ashamed of this post, even my husband shocked by immaturity. But let's be honest, who's really suprised that I sunk to this low denominator
We all need a laugh sometimes. I would have outright mentioned it, but I've never been one to act in the most proper of ways.
ReplyDeleteI would have collapsed into some sort of giggling, choking fit, so you were much more mature than me.
ReplyDeleteMy funny/embarrassing story is from when I first went vegetarian, with all the gasiness that results from a bean-and-cheese burrito diet. That rumble invariably came on at work, so every once in a while I'd take a stroll to the deserted far reaches of the bookstore and let myself go. It was a big store, no harm done.
UNTIL, the guy that had a crush on me would see me in a faroff corner and decide that was the perfect time to have private little chats. At first I quick-walked to meet him so we were safely out of the blast zone, but after a while I was like, "This is what you're in for, buddy."
It seemed like he noticed, but he never said anything, and he kept coming! Never did go anywhere romantically though. Married another coworker instead.