Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Road Trip Wednesday- favorite lines from your WIP.

What's your favorite line of your WIP (or of a recently read book, if you're not writing anything)?

Penny and Hank is a retelling of the Persephone Demeter Myth.  Hank and Penny get exposed to a deadly virus and they are locked up in quarantine.   In this little bit, Hank has just woken up, he's wearing one of the doctor's office paper robes.   He's just figured out where he is and that the people who are holding him captive and no idea who he is.

Penny and Hank

          I looked down at my arm where they had drawn blood. “Listen you’re going to march up or down which ever direction it is to the fifth floor, run my blood sample through the DNA database. Shit your pants when you see my name, go to your boss and figure out the best way to tell him you’ve got the CEO’s grandson locked in a concrete cell. Then your boss is going to come down here and answer any questions I have, got it?” I lifted my legs up and rested them on the glass.
           He blinked at me. “Boy, you’re not wearing any underwear so I would appreciate it if you put your legs down.”
           He stood up and walked out. Flicking the light off and leaving me will a full view of my junk.
           Christ, why could nothing be as cool as it was in the movies?

No System At All

Colin and his brother bully the bullies out of the school.  When Colin doesn't achive his life long dream of going to Julliard he opt to become a rock star instead. 

Here are some tiny bits of dialogue from my WIP that's the closest to being done.

In these two bits Colin the MC is walking around with his best friend Dave, a comic book geek.

           As they walked through the cafeteria, a lump caught Dave’s eye. “Christ, is that Tyler? He looks worse than Wolverine did when Magneto ripped out his adamantium skeleton in "X-Men" number 25.”
           “Really, that’s the reference you want to go with?” Colin said.

Colin jammed his hands into his coat pocket, “try to remember who you used to be, then you’ll understand.”
           Dave blinked at Colin, “That’s some serious Yoda shit there.”

In this scene Colin has just met his idol the bass player in his favorite band.  The bass player is giving Colin some life changing advice:

"I’ve heard this story a thousand times, the precise moment that inspires a kid to take the leap from screwing around to turning pro. Hmm. Word to the wise: the competition is heartless, the hours suck, the money’s worse, and there comes a time in every touring musician’s life where he has to shit in a bag.”
           “You’ll shit in a bag and hopefully it’s a plastic one.”


  1. bwahahahaha.
    I love Dave the comic book geek.
    Hank and Penny sounds cool, too. Hopefully I'll get to read it one day.

  2. I love all of those! I think one of my favorite from Claire is this one:

    Death approaches Conquest and holds out a Prince CD. “What do you think, man or woman?”

    Conquest peers at it. “Does it honestly matter?”

    “Not really, but I find myself oddly attracted either way.”

  3. "and hopefully it's a plastic one." HAHAHA Love.

  4. Hee, hee, love it!! The first one made me burst out laughing :)

  5. Heyyy, I reference X-Men all the time! Dave and I have something in common.

  6. So funny! I laughed out loud at the first one.

  7. Love these. I definitely smiled at all three. They have the same kind of quirky humor I love so much - especially the X-Men reference!

  8. Okay, the P&H one had me cracking up!

  9. Why isn't life ever as cool as the movies?

  10. This was SO good--need to read more. Like now. :)

  11. Those are some great lines. It's amazing what we can come up with. I don't have any great lines I can share right now but I think yours are superb.

  12. The adamantium skeleton line made me giggle. :)

  13. I love the voices of Colin and Dave in your excerpts, I'm getting a real feel for their characters. What's not to like about comic book geekery and sarcasm?
    - Sophia.

  14. I like the Hank and Penny one, REALLY funny. I like the plot too. Humor rocks, great plot, modern-day-version of a classic, this needs to be published!