Monday, March 14, 2011

Erinn Fails

Ho hum, it's Monday, back to work with one less hour in the weekend.

But let's face it, none of us were really going to be productive during that hour, right?

Despite all the awesome that's been going on in my life, there's lots of epic fails too.  There's the amazon fail, which I already shared.

Friday was full of fails.

I was in an inservice with all other reading teachers.  My BOSS was giving a presenation about No Child Left Behind and meeting AYP.  By the end of this year 85% of our students need to read on or above grade level.  (it doesn't matter if they are ESOL and just starting speaking English 2 years ago, or if they have an IQ of 70, or if they are homeless)  85% of our students have to read on grade level or above.

Next year it's 90%

By 2013 it's 95%

And by 2014 it's 100%

I laughed.


You know one of those laughs because whatever you just heard was so outlandish that it had to be a joke.  An entire autoruim of teachers stared at me.  My boss said, "I heard someone laugh." You would expect her to either laugh along or reprimand me, but there was nothing. 


Then I later on in the day I was debating if I should get my nails done.  I called by hubby and asked him  "Hey, would I be the worst person in the world, if I went to get my nails done, instead of working out?"
Hubby says, "That's fine, but you better start going to the gym more."

OK wait, yes EVERYONE who read that, thinks my hubby meant, "Erinn, you're a fatty."   What he meant to say is, "Hey, we spend a lot of money on our gym membership, you should go more than once a moon cycle."

I wasn't miffed and it wasn't MY FAIL but it was fail directed at me.

Then I was planning to go out with my friends, (I don't get dressed up often, so when I do, it should be an national holiday.)
Hubby was TRYING to make up for his ealier comment and said, "Erinn, you look beautiful." WIN FOR HUBBY.  Then he turned to our daughter, "Doesn't Mommy look beauitful?"

Daugter peels her eyes away from the TV and said, "no. Mommy looks purple."

Sigh  FAIL

Then I went out with my friends to celebrate my birthday and Mo's birthday.
This is what I learned at dinner.
At the melting pot you can get EXTRA dippers.  Seriously?  I"ve been going to this restuarant for years and didn't know this. 

Then I learned you can make marshmallows in your own kitchen.  WHAT! Marshmallow aren't made by magical unicorns enslaved in factories.  My whole world was BLOWN AWAY.

Lots of fails, but I hope they made you smile.


  1. Laughing at the reading goal is not crazy. That is not a fail. That is a reality check. it makes me crazy that everyone is expected to achieve the same thing in the US. In any population there is a range for every trait. That's the bell curve.

    You also can't trust kids. My son told me one morning, "mom, your hair is scaring me."
    It wasn't even that bad. i don't know why he said it. Glad you got a night out!!!!!

  2. I really wish I had a photo of the look on your face when we told you that you can make marshmallows in your own kitchen. Priceless. ;-)

  3. Okay, you have to admit, "Mommy looks purple" is kind of funny. And I would have laughed in that No Child Left Behind too. I bet the others were laughing inside, but were just to chicken to show it.

  4. Oh, you poor thing! ... but yes, this made me smile. Especially that BOSS of yours with the unrealistic expectations. I hate it when your motivator is dillusional ("Hey, let's go ahead and set the kids AND teachers up to feel like failures")--I get the positive reinforcement thing, but come on--100%? The nail salon one made me giggle like crazy.

  5. Don't worry. I think lots of teachers everywhere spend a LOT of time laughing at No Child Left Behind. NCLB is an epic fail of monumental proportions!

    And on the marshmallow thing? I tried it once using a Martha Stewart recipe and decided that just because I CAN do something in my kitchen, doesn't mean I SHOULD! I'll let the unicorns make mine!

  6. That was the best fondue dinner ever :)

    I'm with Lana though, I think there needs to be a side-by-side taste test between home-made and unicorn-made mallows. Only then will we know the truth.

  7. Erinn, you're looking quite purple today. LOL

    You know, I should get my butt back to the gym. I don't have enough cash to buy a new wardrobe.

  8. Lol, ok, I thought I was made of fail this past week--at least yours made me smile, though. :)

  9. Jeez. I wrote an essay on NCLB for this thing I'm applying for, and it SUCKS. All I have to say is, by the time I have kids going through public school (which, hopefully, will be a long, long time from now, since I'm thirteen -_-), it will be gone.

    OR ELSE. xD