Why are you taking my stuff, Gloria?

All About Me: Mondays

Last week we got rid of my daughter's pay pay (pacifier).  She is two and half. 

DON'T JUDGE ME! 

Let's go back and look at how and why she got on in the first place.  Prior to her birth I swore up and down that I would not be one of THOSE parents who let their kids have a pacifier.  Then she was born, and I was living off of 4 hours of sleep, not one block of 4 hours but 8 half hour snipits of sleep in a 24 hour period.  I took her to the doctor, because babies go to the doctor like every day and half  (or 6 hours of sleep for mom). My doctor said that paficiers can prevent SIDS and helps a baby sleep.  For $2 I tripled my sleep and she STOPPED crying.

Then around the time we were going to take it away, we switched her from a crib to a bed.  Do you know what happened?  She went SPRINTING to bed every night.  No fight. No screaming.  She crawled into bed, stuck her pay pay in her mouth and was out cold.  There is only one word to describe this: AWESOME.

What jackass would give this miracle up?

But now she's getting to be a big deal and while I'm home from work, hubby and I figured it would be a good time to get rid of it.

Daughter and I talked about how she was a big girl using the potty and she would need to get rid of her pay pay.  She went two days without it, lots of crying on her part. We told her she did a good thing and she would get a prize.  (DON'T JUDGE!)  Last Sunday we took her to the mall, we went to Build a Bear.  For those of you who don't know, Build a Bear is a store where you build your own teddy bear.  You get a creepy bear skin, a giant tube gets crammed into the bear's spinal chord and it get stuffed with fluff.  Then you dress the bear.  These bears have clothes nicer than mine and they cost just as much.

My daughter was excited for Build a Bear, she picked out her panda bear, she told the bear stuffer person that she was a big girl and she put the pay pay inside the bear. She picked out night night clothes for the bear, bunny slippers and a smaller stuffed polar bear for the stuffed panda bear.  (Ok you can judge) She named it Gloria (although in retrospect she might have been saying gorilla).  $37 later we left the mall and by the time we got home the kid had a 104 fever.

For those of you who don't have kids, a little FYI,  babies and toddlers get 24 hour fevers and no doctor will see your kid because there is NOTHING you can do, but give her fever reducers, ice pops, water and let her watch as much of TV as her little brain can handle.  (I watched the same episode of Team Umizoomi at least 7 times)

During her fever she asked for her pay pay.  CRAP.  I sat down with her and said, "Sweetie, it's inside Gloria, remember, you out it there. Do you want to snuggle her?"

She started at the panda and threw it to the other side of her bed.  This is her way of saying, "this is BS mom, and you know it."

Her fever broke and life returned to normal, but she doesn't like Gloria, at all.  Mostly because Gloria stole her pay pay.

Now instead of her falling asleep in 4 minutes, it takes 45 minutes.  Gloria is cutting into her sleep time.  My 2 year old knows what it's like to be a mom.   Nice.

Silly Bandz

Monday: My Life

Today is the LAST day to enter the 50 Followers Contest!  There's lots of cool prizes.  MYSTERY BOXES have been  made.   See previous post for hints about the prizes.  It's awesome.  I would be SUPER psyched to get one of these boxes.   Remember referring people to the blog or tweeting about it more than one will up your points. 

Back to the regularly scheduled blog.
I don't know if you've of these things, their' called Silly Bandz.   It's a little rubber bracelet that when you take it off, it looks like something.

A six months ago one of my students was freaking out because the kid next to her had a dinosaur Silly Bandz.
 She looked up at me and said, "it's this the greatest thing ever?  While it's on his wrist it looks like a circle but when he takes it off, POOF it's a dinosaur."
I responded with, "yes,  besides the instant information of the internet, decoding the human genome and freedom, that piece of rubber is the greatest thing ever. That's teh reason why you were born in this time period.  Face it, you're life peaked as soon as you saw it.  Everything else will pale in comparison."
 She gave me the exact response I expected. No laughter at my genius delivery of snarkiness.  She said, "Whatever it's cool."

I thought they would disappear soon.  WRONG.
 They entered my home life.  My daughter came home from daycare with one.  Then we started trying to get her interested in going to the potty so we invested $5 for a pack.

I saw a bunch of students wearing them and I told them, "My daughter gets one when she goes pee pee on the potty."

Not missing a beat one of my kids lifts his arm full of multicolored rubbed and says, "That's how I got all of mine."

A few minutes later he asks to go to the bathroom.  When he comes back his friend says, "do you get a silly band?"
He shook his head sadly and said, "no, I had an accident."

It's time like those I both love and hate my students.

Anyway, my house is exploding with these damn things.  I'm finding them everywhere.  Really we could probably give my daughter the same three bands over and over again and she would never know.

Just a quick background on Silly Bandz, no advertising, no marketing and the company grew from 5 to 200 employees in one year.  Do you know what else they don't have?  A copyright. Yep.  There's billions of rip offs now.  Some are better and cheaper then Silly Bandz some are not. 

These are official Silly Bandz

These are EXCELLENT knockoffs.

And, um, yeah.

My question to you is, WHAT ARE THESE THINGS?

plastic and heat two things that don't play well together

Welcome to the new version of my blog.  See nothing really changed at all.

MONDAY: MY LIFE 

Today's post was going to be about Silly Bandz, but that will wait for next week.

Because tonight I nearly had a "melt" down. <--- it's a funny joke and you'll see why.

I was cooking dinner, I had everything shockingly well planned out.   I say shockingly because I never have plan.  I was going to cook the fancy potato chip thingies for 15 minutes in 450 degrees and flip them over and put the chicken in.

Then my daughter peed on the floor. We're potty training and it's not going well.

So while hubby was upstairs dealing with her, I'm in the kitchen. I have my favorite tongs (black plastic and OXO)  ready to flip my chips.  I use tongs because I'm not successful with any other product.

I open the oven, the heat punches me in the face.  And the tongs fall out of my hands and slid perfectly under the racks.  Impossible to reach. And I can't find the metal tongs.  I scream and grab yep a BIG Spoon.

My hubby comes down, because I'm panicking and screaming.  He then yells in my face (btw my hubby is the calmest man on the planet) to stop panicking.  I got back and this time I find the metal tongs I hand it to him and poof he pulls out the melty gooey tongs.

Our oven has two blobs and one long line  of plastic.  Insert expletives here.

I stare at it.  He walks away to deal with our daughter.  I have no idea what to do.  I go to the internet.  Surely I can't be the only one who has done this.

On a side note:  Look at the third option and wonder under what circumstances this would EVER happen.

Google said to use heat.  HEAT really?  That's what got me into this mess.

Heat does work, your oven needs to be 200 degrees.  You need to leave the door open.  You need a brillo pad (and a hubby who's willing to go out and buy you brillo pads).  You need a metal spatial and you need to scrub, cry and pray.  You will inhale a crap load of toxic fumes and you're mouth will taste funny for a few hours.

Oh and the biodegradable good for the environment oven clearer Eff- up my oven more than the plastic did.   Damn hippies.

Here's where I win Mom of the year.  Still fed my family (cooked the chicken on the grill, and the chips were a little cold) and played with my daughter.


Yay I just got my 50 followers!!! The contest will start sometime later on today!