Mommy week- Regrets and late night worries

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Writing is selfish.

There I've said the very dirty truth...

I withdraw into my imagination- play around, type type type on my computer, get annoyed when I get interrupted.

I've ignored my hubby. I've been slow to rush to my daughter's side when she wants to show me something... in all fairness for the last 2 years she mostly wants to show me the dog. "Honey, I"ve seen the dog. I know what he looks like, you don't need to tell me he's cute. I know he's cute that's why I bought him."

When my daughter was born the doctor asked my Hubby if he wanted to take a picture of her while she was all goopy and covered in slime. Both Hubby and I said, "No, yuck!"
The doctor said, "She will only look like this once in her life."

She will only be this two years old-- once in her life.
She will only be learning how to walk once in her life.
She will only be potty training once in her life.
She will only have THIS day THIS moment ONCE IN HER LIFE.

I missed some of those, because my characters were calling me, because I wanted to blog, because the plot bunnies exploded, because I was trapped in editing hell.

I love my daughter. She's the coolest person I've ever met. (For the record-- I've met a LOT of people)

Writing isn't like knitting or scrapbooking where you can do it in the same room as your kids, no, you have to be alone. Being alone means missing out on stuff.

So Mom Writers out there, I ask you this, how do you deal with Mommy Guilt?

Mommy week-- a confession

Yesterday I fell asleep while my daughter was watching Dora The Explorer. I woke up to Dora singing "We did it." But I don't know what she did. I'm sure the Map was involved. Boots probably yelled at the audience to say something. Maybe Swiper showed up and took something or maybe Dora was able to stop him. Who knows?

All I know was my daughter was completely mesmerized by it and she was also super snuggly. Snuggles makes mommy sleepy.

When I woke up I started to think more about Dora's world. Where the hell does this kid live, there's a crocodile lake, a volcano that exploded bouncy balls, a blue bull named Benny and Isa a talking iguana.

But the most alarming thing about the world that Dora lives in is Tico the squirrel. He's a purple squirrel that drives a car. In my lifetime I've had thousands of encounters with squirrels and none of them would I give a driver licenses too. They don't even have thumbs. But here's Dora stopping Tico where ever he goes and asks for a ride. He always complies because the show is named after Dora and God forbid he doesn't do what she asks. So Dora hops into the backseat of his car and puts on her seat belt so she can be safe. Although I doubt how safe she is in this crazy world she lives in.

Children's programing makes everyone suspend reality for 23 minutes. Dora is a quality show, my daughter knows Spanish, she learns problem solving skills, and lots of counting.

I will also admit I've fallen asleep during Max and Ruby, the Wonder Pets and Diego too. Sadly my daughter has a longer attention span then I do.

Mommy week- Sleep

Yesterday I stated that I can only write when my daughter is sleeping. Sunday she took a two hour nap. About an hour into her nap she let out of battle cry of doom. Seriously, there was NO other words for it. Then she fell back to sleep. So weird.

When she woke up, we went to the pool. SIDE NOTE: I hate the pool. I really hate going to the pool. I loathe it. It's crowded It's hot. It's loud. It's wet. I'm not a fan of the pool. It's the one thing I do for my daughter that I feel I'm really sacrificing. When we came home she was the crankiest child ever. She cried, she fussed, my God, she was like a teenager.

I put her to bed at 5:45 PM. From 5:45- 7 I was expecting her to get up and I would have a hyper child. From 7- 8 I lived in terror she would wake up in time for her to go back to bed. From 8- 10 I panicked that she would wake up and then I couldn't sleep. From 10- 4 I tried to sleep but was constantly wondering when she would wake up and wondered if she would listen to me when I demanded she go back to bed. From 4-6:45, laying in bed, ready to play with my kid.

At 6:45 I checked on her because I heard her moving around. She was looking out the window.

From 5:45-10 pm I lived in terror of my child. As all parent do. My hubby and I wouldn't talk around her bedroom in case she was waking up. We turned down the TV. I didn't listen to music while I was writing.

Everything I did, I did to keep her asleep.

I didn't get much writing done.

Parenthood means living every moment trying to get your kid to sleep and living in terror that you won't get enough sleep. You are living with a Sleep terrorist just down the door.

Parenthood also means you've been puked up, probably in a location you could never do yourself. I've uttered the sentence, "My kid puked on my back last night," while I was at a wedding.

So mom out there, what does parenthood mean to you? Please no sappy hallmark answers. Let's talk about the far less glamorous things.

Mommyhood and writing day 1

Being a mom, it's not as easy as my mom made it look. Last week my daughter was fighting a virus. She had a fever of 102. Hubby took one day off, I took the other day off. Fever= no daycare. My kid gets sick a lot. Lots of colds, lots of ear infections. We just recently figured out that when she started to cough there's a good likelihood she's going to puke. My daughter has her coughing fits at night, just as I'm trying to sleep. I"m not saying she does this on purpose but since she's been born I've racked up a whole lot less sleep then I did before she was on this planet.

I only get to write when she's asleep.

I will admit this- she watches a lot of TV. Yeah I'm a crappy mom. Don't get me wrong, we play, we color, we blow bubbles, we're potty training and all those good things. Every weekend we do at least two or three daughter centered activity.

So this is what I've noticed in children's programing.

1) Tyrone's voice changed in the Backyardgains and Austin doesn't get used enough.
2) Max and Ruby is sort of a terrible children's show because Max is a jerk and Ruby is bossy. It's a weird so of throw back to the 1950's. But the show is so mellow, so that's a plus.
3) I wasn't a fan of the wonder pets, mostly because I don't like that Ming Ming has a lisp. And I'm not sure of Lenny's gender-- I've spent TOO much of my brain power trying to figure it out. But I do think its really funny that the Wonder Pet's don't like Ollie. (the Bunny in the classroom across the hall)
4) Yo Gabba Gabba isn't as horrible as I first thought it was.

TV and children's program aside, there's a lot if stuff in my head that wasn't there two years ago. I have concept of time. How valuable it is, how much time we have on this green and blue planet. Time. It's a four letter world.

Moms out there, what new knowledge do you have in your head, you never thought you would ever know?